Friday, June 23, 2006

Insufferable...!!

Australia through, Italy through...both in one night....my life at work is about to become a living hell....

and....if one more person says..."Well at least England is through"...I shall not be responsible for my actions.... am thinking I might go to work with the St. Andrews painted on my face....it might help them figure out that I am Scottish!

The following still rings true.....

40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.

35 degrees - Italian cars won't start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on shorts and a T-shirt.

15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.

0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on.
People in Scotland have a last barbi before it gets cold.

-10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

-20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

-80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.

-100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.

-173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland get angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky.

-297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying " A bit hill billy ... eh? "

-500 degrees - Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England in the World Cup

2 Comments:

Blogger Scorpy said...

Absolutley brilliant!!!!! I ma sending this to my Boss and one of the accountants ROFLMAO

8:23 am  
Blogger Madame Chiang said...

Am assuming that they are Scottish....but hoping that they are English!!!!

10:27 pm  

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