so how do you know....?
My travelling companion this weekend is a very nice guy, good looking, intelligent, great sense of humour, however, there is a tiny, tiny rumour around that he is gay....
Which is a particular challenge for me...because I am the world's worst person at knowing if someone is gay....seriously, I have no idea! Just to give you some idea of how there is no way I can tell if someone is gay or not is the fact that this afternoon when telling a good friend of mine about the upcoming weekend...her response was...
"Good God, you're the worst person to be dealing with this....you couldn't tell if someone were gay if they either had it stamped on their forehead or stood up in full drag and sang Barbra Streisand songs!"
It's true....I can't...and it is probably because I have such a strong 'live and let live' way of looking at life....but just this once...I wish I could tell!!!!
Which is a particular challenge for me...because I am the world's worst person at knowing if someone is gay....seriously, I have no idea! Just to give you some idea of how there is no way I can tell if someone is gay or not is the fact that this afternoon when telling a good friend of mine about the upcoming weekend...her response was...
"Good God, you're the worst person to be dealing with this....you couldn't tell if someone were gay if they either had it stamped on their forehead or stood up in full drag and sang Barbra Streisand songs!"
It's true....I can't...and it is probably because I have such a strong 'live and let live' way of looking at life....but just this once...I wish I could tell!!!!
posted by Madame Chiang at 9:19 pm
15 Comments:
well, I think if he does not make a pass at you by now - he must be gay.
There was comedian who used to joke about women who had "gaydar", a sixth sense about spotting gay guys........
I can always spot the gay guys...they are the ones that usually buy ME drinks and not YOU. They comment on MY shoes and not YOURS and the big give away is when they ask ME out and not YOU...Simple really. Have a great weekend although it won't be as good as legoland LOL
Following on scorpy's point about shoes, I suggest wearing a revealing, but color mis-matched, combo of short-shorts/tube top or bikini thong/top, and asking him at an appropriate time, "Do you think these colors match?" Trust me, if he engages on that question, particularly if he makes alternative color suggestions, you will have your answer. An answer of "It looks great" while sneaking peeks at your peaks will provide the hoped-for response.
Fred Jacobsen
San Francisco
Well I guess with these tips I must be able to come to some conclusion over the next few days!
Anonymous: I would say 'not necessarily so'...!
Skippy: Yes, I've heard that one...lets just say I don't have a 'gaydar'!!!
Scorpy: Nothing could ever be as good as LegoLand! Would agree on the 'big giveaway'...but in this case he did ask if I wanted to join him for the weekend!!!!
Fred: One of my other many failings is that I can't tell what colours/patterns etc go together - never have been able to or probably will be able to....so everything I wear has a black base which then has one colour added on top! However, yours is sound advice so will give it a whirl!!
"while sneaking peeks at your peaks"
~grin~
Well........ he did ask you to join him for the weekend so that is a step in the right direction!
Sounds like 'Mia' may be a lass from the British Isles. As was William of Occam (I mean from the British Isles, not a lass). I think he had it right seven centuries ago, if I recall from my medieval studies so long ago: "entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem". My Latin's rusty, though my rote memory's doin' just fine (a sure sign of early forgetfulness). I think what Fr. Occam meant, and I paraphrase, is to keep the explanation simple.
Mia said: "Well........ he did ask you to join him for the weekend so that is a step in the right direction!"
I suggest you ignore all previous advice/analysis, including mine, and go with her's.
Fred Jacobsen
San Francisco
I have bene accused of being gay my whole life and I am not that gay!
Glenzo... now you have us all intrigued. Exactly HOW gay are you?
I mean, you wear a curly wig for one thing!
------
How to know if he's gay - those shoes and color-mathcing ideas are excellent, as are the peeking peaks, but you could also ask him what his favorite Barbara Streisand album is. Does he know who Robert Mapplethorpe is/was? Has he ever posed for Robert Mapplethorpe? Or had his photograph taken by Robert Mapplethorpe for that matter? How many Sydney Mardi-Gras floats has he helped decorate? Is he a second-born son? - don't laugh it's a valid theory. Spill some wine on the table cloth and ask him what the stain looks like - if he says "two men having sex with each other", that would be a clue.
E@L. As usual, full of helpful hints - and don't foget to put lots of salt on the red-wine stain...
Does he read your blog?
E@L- Don't let the long curly wig, the frilly clothing and the limp wrist holding the plume in my picture fool you. I am a manly man!
As a second born son I hve to confess that I have never heard of that before and nor can I think of anyone who would fit the bill. Our wider family is much better as sequential divorces, first, second or third born sons or daughters.
My tactic would be to have a drink with him and say ' BTW, do the rumours about your sexuality bother you?'. Alternatively, the 'fancy a shag?' line generally flushes them out, allegedly.
Well the weekend's over so you've probably already figured it out, but I agree with Mother - asking him is the only way to go. Either in the way he suggests or go with the old fashioned, "Are you gay?" - in my mind, if he is it will be out and if he isn't, he knows he needs to try harder.
I couldn't disagree more with Mia - if a man requires "sign reading", he's not that into you, full stop.
Don't make him say "the phrase that pays!"
I am a :
1) Rump Ranger
2) Brokeback Cowboy
3) Midnight Cowboy
4) (fill in the blank.....)
caerphilly:
2nd born son theory. First pregnancy son creates antibodies in the mother for testosterone. Second male pregnancy those antibodies destroy testosterone, reducing the masculinisation process of the fetal brain. The brains amativeness remains directed towards the masculine (as it usually does in a female)...
I know several gay guys who are second sons. May not be 100% reason, but maybe important for some aspects.
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