Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Things I am frightened of....

There are four things in life that I am frightened (read terrified!) of...

-Electricity and being electrocuted
-Unmentionables (type of bug, very prevalent in HK am terrified and they make me sick)
-Men's mothers

Heights is a fairly common fear...however it frustrates me no end, I just don't understand why I am frightened...I know that I am not going to fall off or out of whereever I am but something deep within my psyche reduces me to a quivering wreck...I have had to be rescued from the oddest places where my nerve suddenly escapes me. I visit these places determined that I will get to the top and scold myself for being so ridiculous...and then I get to the top and the whole world falls apart!

Electricity - have no idea where this one came from...but plugging or unplugging appliances is a fairly major thing for me...even switching on lights or air-conditioning...very bizarre...have learnt to control it...but anything out of the ordinary...rewiring, changing fuses...I just can't bring my self to do it!

The bugs...they are all over HK - it is only one species and I can't handle them..rats, snakes, problem...these unmentionables - No way....I remember being trapped in my office by one for about two hours a few years back...had been into work early and there was no one to rescue me or hear me scream!

And's mothers....most people who know me would say that I am a fairly strong character, however, the start of this particular fear was in 1991...I met a wonderful guy, we got engaged and I thought that this was it for life....however his mother was a force to be reckoned with...used to call me up to check that I had woken up her son on time so he wouldn't be late for work, used to tell me to drop his laundry in to her house as I didn't wash and iron his shirts properly, used to give me a hard time for shopping at the wrong supermarket as they didn't stock the brand of cereal her little boy liked....anyway to cut a long story short..I Hong Kong...decided that there was no way I was going to live my life with that (funny end to the story, after I returned my engagement ring...he gave it to his mother...I think that says it all!!). Next serious relationship...I was apprehensive given my previous experience...she could smell the fear and exploited that...that relationship also had to end (there were other factors, but I cannot deny that the mother was an 'issue'). In both cases the sons did not try to protect me...more - 'offered me' as a lamb to the lions.

The next mother that I had problems with was a friend's mother...a very good friend and someone of whom I am still very fond...any relationship that could have been has been doomed from the get go due to geography and bad timing from the both of us....anyway..we met in HK and became friends...he then left and I went to visit him on his home all got a bit awkward at this point as I thought I was going as a friend...he thought I was going as a girlfriend (as did his parents - a long story and one for another time)..once his mother was appraised of the situation her attitude to me changed immediately and I suddenly became this scheming, witch who was no good for her came to a head about 10 days later...he and I had been out enjoying the night life of where we were staying...I went back to the hotel as we had argued...woke up in the morning and he was not back....and didn't come which point his mother called me saying that he had been 'mugged' and why was I not looking after him...I was horrified that something had happened to him and went out to look for him...he eventually turned up but not before his mother had laid into me on the phone...calling me all the names under the sun and generally really upset my friend was already in a bad way I decided not to tell him of his mother's fury. Skip forward about 10 years and I go to visit him again...unluckily for me his mother is in town...he says come and have dinner with us...I say 'No'...he can't understand I give him the edited friend has a fearsome temper and it was well and truly unleashed that evening....on his finally someone actually stood up for me to their mother - for which I will be eternally grateful and he will always hold a very special place in my heart.

But still...the fear is still there and it is definetly a major factor for any future relationship I of my friends put the fear of God into me the other day by saying "Given your track record and your character, I think it is safe to say that you attract a certain type of guy who has a strong mother"......I hope that's not true!


Anonymous Peregrine said...

It's all erroneous the thing you are saying.

11:44 pm  

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