Up, up and away...

Light reading for yesterday evening was...


written by Captain Ken Beere who first flew with the RAF and then with British Airways.

a few entertaining quotes...

Start-up clearance
After a British aircraft was given 30 minutes delay at a German airfield, a Lufthansa service was cleared to start immediately. The British pilot was furious. He demanded to know why Lufthansa was put ahead of him. Before ATC could answer, the Lufthansa captain broke in "We got to the airport early," he said, "and put our towels on the runway."

Taxying
Unless the crew is very familiar with the airport's layout they resort to a map, the airfield plate. In the case of Heathrow the map doesn't help much as the British Airports Authority (BAA) is always in the process of digging it up - summed up famously by one American skipper who described Heathrow as 'The only building site in the world to have its own airport'.

The phonetic alphabet
Aer Lingus appropriately named their aircraft after saints and used their incomparable Irish humour to christen the simulator 'St. Thetic'.

Final approach
If the wheels gently brush the ground and an increasing rumble from below persuades the crew they really have touched down no pilot can resist a sense of pride and achievement - especially if it is the right airfield.

Touchdown
It is not uncommon for cabin staff to drop subtle hints after a heavy touchdown. One stewardess would stand disapprovingly at the cock pit door with her knicker around her ankles. Even the passengers assume they are qualified to join in. We recall an American who poked his head around the cockpit door as he disembarked and asked 'Was that a normal landing, or were we shot down?'